Monday, May 02, 2005

Fall in Love Again and Again

Kind words do not cost much. They never blister the tongue or lips. They make other people good-natured. They also produce their own image on men's souls, and a beautiful image it is.
- B. Pascal

Why is it that we can be so kind, tolerant, and loving to people we barely know and so demanding, cold, and downright mean to those who are closest to us? Somehow by virtue of daily exposure, all the wonderful traits in your beloved that attracted you in the first place become invisible, and every flaw and imperfection looms large. We get so focused on all that we want from our partner but don't have that we can't see the beautiful person who is available to us in this present moment.

One way to improve your relationships is to send a loving, grateful thought to the other person/s every time you feel yourself getting annoyed or angry. Instead of saying "Why can't you every think of anything interesting to do?", try focusing on "I love the way he treats peole so gently." Appreciating the good makes the good blossom!

What you love is a mental habit anyone can learn. Think about a person and find five things you love about them; the shape of their hands, their big blue eyes, their generosity with material objects, their sense of humor, the way they speak to their kids, etc. Practice will bring this ability home. Become an expert at switching from negative to positive when you find yourself on a mental rant about your mate, and see what happens in your life.

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