Robert Frost once said, "The best way out is through" and nowhere is that more true than fears. In fact, the only way out is through. When we run away from fear, it ends up running us!
Unhealed fear acts as a fog, shrouding from view our myriad possibilities. Fear also is a magnet, drawing to us that which we fear.
Barbara's fear that her husband would leave her was so deep that she could not leave the room at night without him. If she wanted to go to sleep before he was ready for bed, she curled up at his feet. Her husband was devoted to her, and she could not understand why she was so afraid of being abandoned. She was terrified to look for the origin of her seemingly groundless fear, and her terror was justified. Wisely, she asked a therapist to be with her on her journey toward healing.
As she had the courage to look inside, Barbara remembered an extremely abusive relationship with her father culminating in his disappearance when she was seven. As a little girl, she feared her father treated her badly because she was bad. When he left, she believed he had done so merely to be away from her. Consequently, as an adult, she carried inside her a deeply imbedded fear that she was not worthy of love - especially from men.
Thankfully, most of our fears have less traumatic beginnings than Barbara's, but if we are grappling with debilitating fears or fears we cannot understand, it is important we have the courage to explore them with someone we trust and with whom we feel safe, &am p;a mp;# 17638.
When examining fears we feel capable of handling alone, it is helpful to sit quietly and think of something or someone we fear. Then ask ourselves, "What is the worst thing that could happen if I faced this fear and moved through it?" "Could I survive my imagined consequence?" Often our answer will be yes, if we have the courage to take it one day, one hour, one minute at a time.
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