Look for the Hidden Blessings of Difficult Situations

Gratitude is an all-out experience. It's cheating to be grateful only for the good things that happen and to shun the bad. This isn't to say that we want bad things to happen to us, just that if we can be grateful for the soul-lessons inherent in the difficulties that befall us, then our souls will be able to grow and mature. Otherwise, we never progress, because we fail to use the hardships that dog us to become more loving, more patient, more present, more kind.

The people whom I admire most in the world say without reservation that the hardest things they had to face, cancer, the death of a child, a bankruptcy, or job loss, had been their greatest teachers and that they were grateful for the lessons. For me it has been dealing with pain.

When I was a senior in college I injured my back. It was the first time my body ever betrayed me. Until then, I always considered it just a handy container to take my mind where it wanted to go. But suddenly I couldn't move, and I had to pay attention to it.

It's been twenty years since then, and my back continues to be one of my greatest teachers.

I've learned a lot about patience (a hard lesson for me) and impermanence (just because it hurts like blazes today doesn't mean it ill hurt tomorrow).

I've learned the value of physical discipline ("No time to do those boring back exercises?" my body says "I'll show you!")

I've learned that I can't push myself beyond limits that often I still don't recognize until after I've exceeded them. That even doing everything "right" is no guarantee I'll be free from pain.

I've learned to let go of my wanting it to be better, and I've learned about how much I still exist even if I am able to do absolutely nothing.

Now, in theory, I could have learned these things some other way, and perhaps I might have. But the truth of my life is that I have learned them through my pain -- and I am grateful for the lessons, if not for the pain.

You may write down the ten most difficult things that ever happened to you. As you look over the list, can you see the gifts that each of them brought? When you are suffering from some difficulty whose blessing is invisible to you, try saying the following: "I am willing to see the gift in this experience. May the lessons be revealed to me, and may I become stronger and clearer.